My Hattori Hanzo sword

It was pitch black. I couldn’t even see myself. You could say it was as dark as Gaptain’s face without make up. As I was trying to figure out where on earth I was I realised there was a constant buzzing noise in the background. It sounded like hundreds so insects were in the room or wherever I was. I panicked. I wanted to run, but what if they attacked me. That is when I noticed that I had something in my hand. It felt familiar. It couldn’t be. Light slowly dawned from a corner of the room (yes I was in a very large room). I could see! The room was filled with not just any insects but mosquitoes. And they were just flying around not attacking me. I looked around to find the corners of the room lined with batteries in case the power in the thing in my hands ran out. Yes you guessed it right. I had a pink Kosu bat with me in a room filled with kosu which weren’t biting me.
Just when I was about to swing the bat and kill them I woke up with a start. It was just a dream. I had been dreaming of kosu bat heaven.

You may think that I am so obsessed with kosu bat to dream about it. Amma is worse than me. She always has a kosu bat by her side as long as she is inside the house.
A few years ago if she hears the sound of something breaking she will shout (without even coming out from wherever she is) ‘Was that the remote you broke? How many times will it survive?’
A couple of years ago it was ‘Oh no, please tell me you didn’t break the cell phone.’
Now whatever I drop, Amma would come running to me and ask ‘Enna achu kosu bat ku? Did you drop it? Is it broken?’ She would only calm down after I show her the remote pieces on the floor.

I am not that obsessed with that thing. For me it helps greatly in anger management. Aim a kosu, imagine that as the person whoever I hate at that moment and hit it. My hatred instantly gets reduced and also one kosu less in the universe.

And every time I hold it I feel like The Bride A.K.A Black Mamba A.K.A Beatrix Kiddo with her Hattori Hanzo sword. She kills the kosus of society with it and I kill kosus in my house with mine.

Birthday! When?

Birthdays seem to come and go without even giving me time to realise that I am getting a year older. They aren’t as exciting as they used to be. People wish me at midnight, ask for treat at dawn and I get gifts in return. That’s it. The rest of the day is the same as every day.

As a kid, I had soo much to look forward on the special day. The one day in the whole year when you get to show off your brand new ‘colour’ dress in school. And then there are chocolates. I remember one birthday when I dragged my dad from one supermarket to another in quest of Cadbury diarymilk’s eclairs crunchy.

The day would usually start with a ‘Happy birthday’ from either mom or dad while waking me up. I would be fully awake in seconds and start getting ready for school. The phone would start ringing soon, and I would blabber thank yous to cousins and aunts with mouth full of toothpaste. Amma would have made my favourite breakfast and lunch. Sometimes she would have also made a beautiful colour kolam especially for the occasion. The best part of course was the day in school. Even unknown students would smile and wish me. The whole class would sing ‘happy birthuday to you’. My friends would try to get as many chocolates as possible from the dabba while I would chid them saying ‘hey wait till I distribute it to everyone then it is all yours’. Even my worstu enemy would smile and wish me in hopes of getting extra chocolates. Then the ultimate dilemma, I get to choose only one of my bestest friends to accompany me distribute chocolates to all the teachers in school (and bunking first period). And I never did homeworks on birthdays because I knew I would be excused with an ‘Oh it’s your birthday. Alright submit it tomorrow without fail.’
And evening it would be either tip to temple and dinner at hotel which translates to kaima idly (and sometimes ghee roast) at Hotel Saravana Bhavan or cake cutting with cousins and neighbour kids. The day would end with falling asleep in front of television waay past bedtime. It would have been a long and eventful day.

As I grew older, I had cut down things one by one. No more colour dress to school (decided this in 8th) thinking I am too old from that. No more temple trips, I am too cool for that (no idea when this happened). No more strangers wishing me (no would know it is my birthday unless I tell them). No more looking forward birthdays just for the sake of it and not for gifts. Now birthdays aren’t as long as they used to be. Nothing exciting ever happens on birthdays. It is the same as every day except that I get my favourite food and gifts from friends.